Dowry-A Curse

A dowry is the money, goods, or estate that a woman brings forth to the marriage. It contrasts with bride price, which is paid by the groom or his family to the bride's parents, and dower, which is property given to the bride herself by the groom at the time of marriage. The same culture may simultaneously practice both dowry and bride price. Dowry is an ancient custom, and its existence may well predate records of it in every age and culture.

One of the basic functions of a dowry has been to serve as a form of protection for the wife against the very real possibility of ill treatment by her husband and his family. A dowry used in this way is actually a conditional gift that is supposed to be restored to the wife or her family if the husband divorces, abuses, or commits other grave offenses against her. Land and precious metalshave often been used in this form of dowry and are frequently inalienable by the husband, though he might otherwise use and profit from them during the marriage.

A dowry sometimes serves to help a new husband discharge the responsibilities that go with marriage. This function assumes special importance in societies where marriages have regularly been made between very young people; the dowry enables the new couple to establish a household, which they otherwise would not have been able to do. In some societies a dowry provides the wife with a means of support in case of her husband’s death. In this latter case the dowry may be seen as a substitute for her inheritance of all or part of her husband’s estate.

In many societies, dowries have served as a reciprocal gesture by the bride’s kin to the groom’s kin for the expenses incurred by the latter in payment of bridewealth. These exchanges are not purely economic but instead serve to ratify the marriage and consolidate friendship between the two families.

In medieval and Renaissance Europe, the dowry frequently served not only to enhance the desirability of a woman for marriage but also to build the power and wealth of great families and even to determine the frontiers and policies of states. The use of dowries more or less disappeared in Europe in the 19th and 20th centuries. In some other places, however, dowries grew in popularity at the end of the 20th century, even when declared illegal or otherwise discouraged by governments. In South Asia, for instance, parents of the groom have sometimes demanded compensation for their son’s higher education and future earnings, which the bride would ostensibly share.

The earliest reference to dowry in South Asia dates almost two millenia ago. It is still widely popular, and customary in Bangladesh, Indiaand Pakistan. The table below shows the prevelance of dowry in contemporary South Asia; it demonstrates that the practice of dowry payments is almost universal in India and Pakistan, and becoming more and more prevalent in Bangladesh. 
Even modern, well-educated families start saving up money for their daughter's dowry as soon as she is born, so what can one expect from the uneducated masses, whose only form of education is tradition? 
When demands for dowry are not met, the bride is subject to torture, and often even killed. The reason many parents don't want to have daughters is because of the dowry they will have to shell out at her marriage, and the stress they go through due to never ending demands from her in-laws. 

The dowry system is a great evil that exists in Pakistan. It is an act of discrimination against unmarried girls, whose values are defined based on the prices of their respective dowries.

It is an example of greed and selfishness and is a great curse, especially for the parents who belong to the lower middle class. This is the reason why people get depressed and feel cursed at the birth of a daughter. The dowry system should be banned in Pakistan, just like the serving of more than one dish at a marriage ceremony was banned and people should refuse to marry when dowry is demanded or given.
The practice of dowry among ignorant Muslims is a result of the influence of the evil practices of the society they live in. Islam does not put any financial burden on the father of the girl. A Muslim father is told to get her daughter married away in a most simple ‘Nikah’ ceremony solemnized by a ‘Qazi’ (priest) in a mosque, witnessed by his close relatives and friends. He is not even required to throw a luncheon to the handful of invitees assembled for this occasion. In fact it is desirable on the part of the groom that he offers a reception (Waleema) to his near ones & dear ones without forgetting the poor people of his society. 
The example of such a simple marriage was set up by none other than the Prophet (pbuh) himself. He got his daughters married in the simplest possible manner. There was nothing in it whatsoever for the bridegroom that could be termed as dowry. 
The Prophet (PBUH) said: 
"The best of the marriages is one which is least burdensome in the financial sense to the families of the bride and the groom" 
Thus he paved a way for people of all times to come to live a life without stress and strain pertaining to daughters’ marriages too.

The Prophet gave Abu Bakr some money and asked him to accompany Bilal and Salman, (or Ammar Ibn Yasir) to buy some household necessities for Fatima's house. The Prophet said to Abu Bakr: "Buy some appropriate household necessities for my daughter with this money." Abu Bakr said: "He gave sixty-three (63) dirhams, so we went to the market and bought the following:

01. Two mattresses made of Egyptian canvas. (One stuffed with fiber and the other with sheep wool).

02. A leather mat.

03. A pillow made of skin, filled with palm tree fiber.

04. A Khaibarion cloak.

05. An animal skin for water.

06. Some jugs and jars also for water.

07. A pitcher painted with tar.

08. A thin curtain made of wool.

09. A shirt costing seven (7) dirhams.

10. A veil costing four (4) dirhams.

11. Black plush cloak.

12. A bed embellished with ribbon.

13. Four cushions made of skin imported from Ta 'ef stuffed with a good smelling plant.

14. A mat from Hajar.

15. A hand-mill.

16. A special copper container used for dyestuff.

17. A pestle for grinding coffee.

18. A (water) skin.

When Abu Bakr and the other companions had bought the above-mentioned articles, they carried them to Um Salama's house. When the Prophet saw them, he started kissing every article and supplicated to Allah, saying: "O Allah, bless them! For they are people who the majority of their belongings are made of natural materials."

These were all the furnishings they purchased for the daughter of the best of all prophets and messengers. But indeed, marital happiness is not achieved by wealth and overspending, nor can expensive wardrobes, gems, golden ware, luxurious furniture, splendid palaces or comfortable automobiles provide a person with marital happiness, contrary to the beliefs of most people.

Dowry Murders

Young married women are routinely tortured and murdered by

their husbands and in-laws whose demands for additional dowry from
the bride’s family are not met. This practice has now escalated to
such a degree that it has assumed the form of a culture-specific

homicidal tradition in Sub-Continent Indo-Pak.

In many of these cases the woman is killed in a staged fire related
accident, usually in the kitchen. Hence the cultural pervasiveness
of ungainly terms like “bride burning” and “dowry death.” However,
there are also staged suicides that involve hanging or the
consumption of pills and poison. A majority of these cases go
uninvestigated, and are written off as accidents or suicides while
the murderers go scott free. This is perhaps one of the primary
reasons for the lawless increase of these crimes.

Dowry is an evil, evil system and all of us, at some level, condone it and even contribute to it. 

Often the boys parents don't demand dowry, but our culture is such that we feel we must give 

something to the in-laws. In such cases, give as much as you receive. 
When you go out of your way because you are the parents of the girl, you are contributing to this evil. 


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ke us ke sapnon mai basney wala.....

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jo Uski "DOLEE".....

bina Jaheiz ke le jaye ga.......!